What even...

So now reading last nights post with a cheeky grin on my face!! It was a fabulous night!

Although for anyone who reads it will think all I did all night was be a tramp hooking up with a guy I kind of have a thing for! That wasn't all that happened. That must have just been the only thing going through my drunken brain at 5am this morning.

So I will recap everything about the night that I can remember,

First things first, I went to work for a drink, expecting to meet Mischael there. Sitting at the bar by myself, looking like a complete loser, I ask the new girl Becky for a STRONG vodka. While I was sipping on my beautifully made vodka soda lime, I heard a voice from the other end of the bar saying 'drinking again are we, do you ever go home?' Not really taking any notice I looked over, and there sitting with his flatmate was Greg. So starting to feel a little bit better about my night I moved to the other end of the bar where they were sitting, I joined them. After about five minutes Greg asked me what my favorite colour was, while I answered with yellow, he shouted out to Becky that we needed 3 yellow shots. She brang over vanilla galliano and tequila, being so early in the night I decided it was way too early for Tequila I made her sneakily leave the tequila out so I ended up having a shot of vanilla galliano while the two boys had a mixture. After singing a couple of songs and sitting outside in the freezing cold for a bit, I found myself downstairs near the basement with Greg, to be honest I thought it was just a joke, we were joking about going downstairs for a quickie, thinking its a joke I just thought I would play along.... I must say, he was very passionate, it felt like it was a movie scene, e had one hand on my waist, while he pulled me in he used his other hand to gently scrunch my hair and pull my face towards his, he looked into my eyes for a bit before he went in for the kiss. It was so cute. Me being as awkward as I am, was thinking the whole time, what the hell do I do with my hands, at this stage I started to slightly freak out. I managed to run one hand down into his back pocket, and the other one up to the back of his head. After this, we went upstairs and ad a couple more to drink.
Nikkita finally finished work, and Greg's flatmate decided to eave, which is good, he's a bit weird.
We had a couple of drinks with Nikkita and then somehow I ended up in the guys bathroom, don't know how I got there though haha. We went to start hooking up and then some guy walked in... AWKWARD! We went back to the bar, I decided I needed to pee. I went to the toilet, while I was drying my hands the bathroom door opens, thinking it was just some other chick needing to pee, I look over and nope, it was Greg. This is where the 50 shades came in... sorta, he pushed my back up to the wall, and grabbed my hands as our fingers locked together, he pushed them up above my head so I couldn't move them, he then kissed me softly from my lips, down my neck to my boobs, and back up again, I don't know how it was possible, but it felt like every second, we were getting closer and closer, I thought we were as close as we could get when he had me pinned up against the wall. After this, I left the bathroom first, to make it not look too suspicious, dumb move because everyone seen Greg come in to the girls bathroom. With the couple of spare minutes I had before he came back I quickly caught Nikkita up on what had just happened, we decided it was time to go in to town. After what thought to be an hour long walk, we ended up at the Ra Bar, while Greg was outside smoking, Nikkita and I were inside dancing our asses off. It was really cool, all three of us danced for what felt like for hours we ended up leaving, and trying to finding another open club, we ended up at Carousel, the lamest club in town! there were like ten people there! Although, it was 3am. While we were waiting at the bar for a drink, he came up behind me, nibbled on my ear, gave me a kiss on the neck and then he hugged me tight, so tight that I could feel his 'little friend' which was kinda hot! We sat down and started having our drinks, when he grabbed me by the hand, leading me to the bathrooms, leaving Nikkita awkwardly with two random guys! I turned around for like 2 seconds to lock the door, he had already started on my neck, which is why I had to check myself to see if I had any hickies this morning! haha, By the time I turned around he had his dick out! Not bad but shit he's quick! Didn't even hear him unzip his pants!
We were in there for what I thought was like two minutes, but Nikkita let me know it was more like ten! So may have blanked out somewhere, but I honestly have no idea! When the club shut we walked to Mc Donalds, so Nikkita could get her flatmate something to eat! While we were waiting in line, and waiting for her to get her meal, he was very cuddly and pretty much all over me. I didn't hate it! When we went to leave I went to catch a taxi home, where Greg said, just come back to mine. But I knew that wouldn't be a good idea, as I had to beat the sunrise home, and I only just did that as it is, If I had stayed there I wouldn't have been getting home til about now, 14 hours later!

When I got home to put my phone, which had been flat all night, on charge, My phone just went off. There were about 15 messages from him, and I was getting phone calls and everything. I fell asleep, and when I woke up there were messages and missed calls galore! It was hilarious. I later got a message from Nikkita asking if he showed up at mine. When I replied and said, no he never showed up and asked her why she thought that he was, she replied with... He said he was going to come and find you so you's could cuddle on the couch and watch movies, and that he could teach me how to play playstation. Thought that was a bit cute.

He messaged me this morning and said he hope I don't think he's a crazy stalker and asked me how I was feeling.

All in all it was a fantastic night, but lets hope next time, we do end up staying over.

I feel like I should be writing a dirty novel, and I am feeling like a bit of a tramp!

D

screwed up and spat out

So last night, I was stood up! I was looking so forward to going out with Mischael, and he let me down no text or nothing! Then tonight I messaged him and told him I would be at work for a couple of drinks if he was keen... no reply, no surprise!

When I was there I seen Greg, 6 hours later and we just said goodbye! It was such a good night! Even though I got stood up by someone I thought was a close friend, I found another one! 

I think he might possibly have feelings for me too. He took me downstairs at work and went to hook up with me, we also hooked up in the Men's toilets, and then he went all 50 shades of grey with me in the girl's toilets, it was hot! Then we went into the octagon, where I met him in the bathrooms of Carousel where  by the time I got into the bathrooms he had his dick out! Must say it turned me on a bit, but like always I let the good things get away! And I chickened out and didn't screw him, which now I am kinda regretting. 

He is now trying to call me, but  I can't let him come to my parents house! awkward!!! 

Kat what do I do? xx

D

Friday Night Antics!

So tonight, I think I might actually be going out. Not with the guys from work but with Mischael! This would be the first time in like 5 months that we have been out. He moved to Queenstown, so I never really get to see him anymore. I also think he became a bit distant when Nathan came over for Bex' 30th, because we were so close. No need to worry Mischael... Nathan is Gay!! Not even kidding. I wasn't allowed to say anything, because it was his secret not mine. But lets hope me messages me to say what time he is going out and where we are meeting. Will probably be work, for the fact it's cheaper and we know everything.

Let's just say I am pretty excited... The only thing I am not looking forward to, is if his friend Hannah comes, some people like her, but she isn't really a fan of mine! I am not sure why though, I haven't done anything to her, that I know of.

Tomorrow, will hopefully be my last day at the Robbie. Mixed emotions, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.

I am totally in love with Ellie Goulding's song Love me like you do. It makes me feel all tingly, butterflies in my stomach and a smile on my face.

Until tomorrow,

D

Fox Force Five

So last night I went to the quiz night! It was awesome! Our team name was Fox Force Five! We came 4th! Not too bad considering last time KatDan quizzed we cam last! hahaha
I was in the team with Nikkita and a couple of her mates! They were really cool, and smart.
To celebrate not coming last, we stayed behind and had a few drinks. It was a really good night!
School tomorrow, I missed my class today because I was irresponsible and drank a bit too much but I was being responsible because I thought I was too intoxicated to drive.

Only realised today that I have exactly 2 weeks until I go to Australia. I can't wait, but at the same time I am stressing out! I have to complete every single assignment for this term before I go because I am away for so long! so while everyone gets 8 weeks to start and finish their assignments I get two! Hope all goes well. I need to pass this!

Whilst in Australia I will be staying with Kat and Mama, I can't wait. Hopefully there is a Bingo on the night I am there so we can go win some moolah! I never win, but you gotta be in it to win it.

Kat if you are reading this... research some Bingos!! haha it would be even better if they  had Bingo with beverages. xx

D

Things can only get better

After I got yesterday's drama off my chest, I became a lot calmer and instantly happier... I don't know if it's because Kat calmed me down, or I could just say what ever I wanted to until my brain had no more words in it, or simply because an unexpected message could just brighten your day... or night.

So I just want to say thank you!

Thank you Kat, for listening to my dramas for hours and hours without telling me to shut the fuck up. Lol. Thank you for being my best friend and thank you for leaving everything and everyone you have in Australia, just to start an adventure with me. I promise to you, we will have the time of our lives. And I hope you find your public transport hottie!!

Thank you to my brain, for letting me bottle up all my problems and store them in you! Thank you for letting me hide the things I am too scared to say!

And finally, Thank you Greg! For staying up til 3am talking to me, out of the blue and pretty much about nothing, I think it was just what I needed to make my night that much better than it was.


Today I got a parking ticket! I don't even mind! I am off to get ready for my Quiz Night! It will be fun... I hope, but definatley not as fun as our KatDan sessions! Speaking of KatDan sessions, We should totally get high and do the quiz Kat! haha!

D

This and that!

So I went to work today, ready to quit. I was talking to Kat this morning, and she let me know how shit I am treated there and how close me and Jarrod used to be as friends, and now it feels like every time he talks to me he is just being a total wanker. I miss the old Jarrod! The one that used to ring up just to see what I was doing, and to tell me he spent all night at work watching home and away and shortland street with the locals because it was so quiet. Jarrod, if you ever read this, which I am hoping you wont, but if you ever do! Please change back to the old Jarrod. Please don't think I hate you in any way, shape or form, or that I am being the wanker, because I'm not, It just hurts me to think you aren't there for me anymore.
Anywho! I never ended up talking to him because he was a little bit preoccupied. So I sent him a message, and I never quit. In this message I told him that I basically don't want to come back until I get back from Australia. Honestly, I am not sure what I want to do at all. like most of me wants to quit because I hate going to work feeling disrespected and like I am only there because they have no one else. We should treat each other like family, like what we are, what we were. I used to love going to work to see everyone, and to catch up with all the news, I used to like going in an hour early just to chill out with everyone, I used to like staying behind and having a beer after work, and now I can't wait to see the door close at the end of my shift. Now I feel like I am just a number, I don't even feel human.
The other part of me still loves my job, I love the people I work with, we are family and even families have their fair shares  of ups and downs. I am just so stuck with what to do.
I can almost guarantee I will get an abusive phone call tomorrow morning asking why I let Antony take the key home, I didn't let him, he took it, without me knowing. But I bet you I will still get into shit for it.

Tonight once we finished work Antony, Nikkita and I went over to The Bog for a drink, I only had a Lemon Lime and Bitters because I had to drive, so I missed out on a lovely ice cold beer. It was cool. Nikkita and I have decided we will go to quiz night tomorrow... that will be interesting, but I can tell you right now that it would not be as fun as it was when KatDan were quizzing it. But it should be an interesting night. I will make sure I update you tomorrow.

While we were over at The Bog, I ran into Greg. If you don't remember who Greg is, he is the guy that took over my bar on Sunday night and made me shots and drinks because it looked like I was stressed to the max! We got really, really drunk and had a really good night. Anyway, I ran in to him and we have been messaging each other all night, I am thinking I am starting to get a little school girls crush on him.I don't know why though. Don't get me wrong, he is pretty cute, and a lovely person I just don't know why. Is it because I feel lonely? I haven't got a clue... I don't feel lonely, is that why? I am so confused. I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. It just seems these days, as soon as I get my hopes up, something finds it's way to let me down.
I have two perfect examples,
Example one,
Mischael! We got on so well, we wouldn't go an hour without talking to each other, I have no idea what happened, but I never see him anymore, and I hardly hear from him at all. everyone thought we were, or would get together, he used to come all the way into town while I was at work just to see m,e, and just to see how my day was going, now I go weeks without him speaking to me and when I message it would be a shock for me to get a reply from him. I miss him so much! He was the reason I went out, and became a bit more social. He was my first new friend here, he showed me it's fun to go out get really drunk and watch the same episode of breaking bad 100 times before we got sick of it.

Example two,
Nathan! He promised me he would come down to Adelaide and pick me up when I go over in a couple of weeks. He is my best friend, and when he promised me, I thought he meant it. I was so excited for him to come and get me, and we were supposed to have the whole weekend in Adelaide before we went back to Roxby. If you know what we were like, we were basically inseperable. Wherever I was, he was. Wherever he was, I was. That's just the way it was. Then he told my little brother a week ago, that he wasn't coming to get me and waited until today to tell me. What would have happened if I had decided to get a hotel? What would have happened if I had made plans for us to go places and do cool things? It just feels like I am putting a whole lot of effort into something he doesn't even care about anymore. It's just little things like that, that hurt me alot. It affects me. I hate how it does, but I can't help it. Like it absolutley broke my heart when he wrote in my 21st book andd all he wrote was Hi <3 Tui I actually cried.

I just get to the point in thinking what is the use of trying? It all seems to blow up in my face one way or another. I really hate being in these kinds of moods. All I want to do now is watch a sad movie like Charlie St Cloud or Remember Me, even though it will make me cry like a baby and feel even worse about myself. When I should be watching something I love that makes me laugh so hard like Just Go With It.

So while I was styping this feeling sad, lonley and depressed I got a message from Greg, It made me smile, it was a stupid little message, didn't mean much, but it feels really nice having someone message you first for a change.

Current mood -- Tingly now!

Might go watch Just Go With It.

Ciao!

D

WHAT DO I DO??

I am so confused! I need to grow up and move up in my career. I want to quit my job at The Robbie Burns Pub. Ever since my boss Vic left, I feel as if it's gone downhill. They don't treat me like they should. They are the most lazy people I have ever worked with. On Sunday I had to work with the 2 new girls we have. Nikkita is awesome, but we got another one on Sunday. Her name is Becky and apparently she was Miss Otago. So as you could probably tell, Jarrod hired her for the looks. She is the most lazy and annoying person I have ever worked with... and I have worked with Tania. haha
Anyways, She is there for probably five minutes and ask when she finishes. Then, she was asked to do some fries, she didn't do it until I asked her again 15 minutes later! She didn't want to get her hands dirty. So that was stressful enough, Then Antony decided to come in and be nothing but a cockhead! Trying to tell me to change the music as if he ran the place. Because him and the owners son doesn't like the music I was playing. Well let me tell you something... It was better than the bullshit that you wanted me to play. I usually just give in and let him choose. But I thought, NO! That is why I get treated like shit! Because I let them. I took a stand and didn't change it! He then went home in a sooky, but WHO GIVES A SHIT!

As the night got later and everyone started to leave, me, Nikkita and Greg, he's from The Bog, decided  it would be a nice night to get wasted! We got so very drunk, to the point where Nikkita was playing the drums and Greg and I were trying to waltz and pole dance, I feel sorry for anyone who tries to watch the security footage. I was expecting to be yelled at by Jarrod for something, but I have the upper hand. He was storing weed at work in the phone box, as on Friday he smoked weed with some of the band members. So I think I am pretty safe.

I really love working there, but I hate how I get treated. I don't know what to do! What if I quit and can't find another job that is as good, or as fun, or I don't get as much freedom, or discount haha.
I feel as if I am stuck between a rock and a hard place... If someone could please tell me how to live my life... that would be great. I was thinking maybe I should find a job before I quit, but no one will hire me knowing I am going away for a month in two weeks..


KAT! I know you are probably the only one reading this so tell me what to do! haha

D