Sunday, 6 November 2016

New Me

Well... So much has happened since the last time I posted on this site. I am not quite sure where to start,

In May I was offered a new job as a Bar Manager, and after careful consideration, I decided to take it. It was honestly the best think I have ever done for myself. I handed my notice in at the Robbie and moved on, and haven't looked back since.

During this time I had the most amazing birthday, my sister Ebby, her fiance Jock and their beautiful daughter Sophia came over for a holiday and for my birthday. I miss them so much. I started my job while they were here. On my first day I was super nervous. I felt as though I would be the odd one out as everyone kind of knew each other prior to me starting. But sure enough Ebby told me that I would do fine and I did. I came straight back to the hotel after work and told them all about my day. From the regulars to the cute boy I met that I worked with.

Five months later and I am still loving it. We are a family there. It is fantastic. As for the boy, I am not 100% sure on what we are. He is the most caring and adorable guy I know. We have gotten very close which I love. We have been away to Queenstown together, and have been talking about going up to Blenheim for the weekend at some stage in the near future. I don't really think either of us know what we are up to. One thing me and everyone else around me knows is that we both really like each other. But I think we are both too scared to do anything about it because we work together and if something goes wrong it would be awkward. But I do hope to get closer to him. He is the first person I have felt completely comfortable around, and he has also seen me without make up and I didn't feel ugly. Which is a big thing in this day and age. Another plus is he has met my crazy family and he likes them, and they all love him. I have told him secrets I haven't told anyone else. He has done the same to me.

My sister Bex..
Where do I start here? I have no idea what she is doing with her life!!!  She is throwing it away!
She has a beautiful family and she thinks it is better to just go and throw it away! She is on Tinder, meeting up with boys, stalking boys and quite frankly being a skank! She thinks it is great.
She has lost her real friends and most of her family over it. I haven't heard from her for nearly two months now. And to be honest, I don't even miss her. I am finally living my life how I should be, not revolving it around her.
I now have my own house, amazing friends a great social life, and no not the go out and get drunk all the time, but like a go to play golf kind of way and I don't think I could get any happier,

A couple of my work mates are here for a cuppa now.
Will write again soon

Peace out

Sunday, 7 February 2016

I'm Sorry.

So I am unsure if anyone actually reads this thing but I think it is time for some apologies.
Yesterday, when I was sitting at the Bog alone, I realised I haven't been the nicest person, and I definitely haven't been the best version of myself I could be. Sitting here listening to Frank Sinatra has given me the idea to write this. So here it goes.


I am sorry I am not there for you like I should be, and I am sorry it isn't easy having me so far away. What I would do to be able to jump on a plane and surprise you and Sophia.I am sorry that I am not there for Sophia like I promised, remember I said if you ever got pregnant we could run away and I would help you! Believe me when I say this, you guys are always welcome here, and I will try my hardest to live up to that promise. I would like to say I am sorry for hardly being there when you had Sophia. I hate that I only got to be there for one day, but believe me when I say, you were the reason I came over, and it hurt me so  much that I hardly saw the both of you, and if I could I would go back in time, just so I could be there more than I was the first time. I am sorry I got jealous of Corrine. It hurt me that you were so close with her, because you  were all I had and I didn't want you to replace me with her. As the time has passed, I have realised that I was stupid to think that because no matter what we go through, we always seem to get past it, and it somehow makes us closer. I love you and Sophia so much, I promise to try my hardest at being there whenever you need me, and don't forget I am only a phone call away! xx


I am sorry that NZ didn't work out for you. I am sorry I wasn't the nicest person, but you hurt me, so much, I never felt so uncomfortable in my own space, or with my own friends. You abusing my workmates because you didn't get staff pricing (You didn't work there) refusing to pay, then telling me infront of my friends that I am a horrible person and Mischael doesn't even like me, he feels sorry for me hurt me. I cried for hours over that. I don't know why it upset me so much, he is and will always be the best friend/ person I have ever met here. He was my first friend, and he has treated me so well. You burning Matt my security guard outside of work on the face with your cigarette was way out of line, and so uncalled for. You coming into my work after my aunt died saying you wanted to say something smart about it but you didn't because you felt like being nice, how kind of you. Sitting at the bog, you ditching me for randoms, telling them how much of a shit person I was, was super fun for me too. I feel like you moving back to Aus was the best thing that could have happened, and I am sorry for saying it was the best thing that has happened in a while. I am sorry it didn't work out for us, but I hope you have an amazing life with people who understand your ways.


I am sorry for never giving you the time of day. I realised yesterday when I saw you, that you weren't the bad person I wanted to believe you were because I was jealous you stole the heart of the guy I have loved since I met. Yesterday when I seen you, without make up and you were actually talking and joking around with the bar staff, I finally figured out it wasn't your fault, it was mine! I am sorry for being rude and assuming you were a bitch. I sincerely apologise, and I am glad that you have made Greg the happiest he has been for a long time! Again, I am sorry, I never should have judged you before I knew you. I hope we can put all of this behind us and start fresh.